Happy “Grammy Awards” night, I guess!

Glad to have you back, Drew.

Play loud

Inevitably, there will be folks who say the ratings were down because of “the Anthem protests”, which is always hysterical.  I’m surprised Trump himself hasn’t gone on Twitter to claim that yet.

Yes, thanks to Vinatieri’s last-second FG’s and Pete Carrol being a goddamn moron. But the comeback against Atlanta is the only true feat of “holy shit” in his Super Bowl career.  This game was absolutely atrocious, on both sides.

Congrats to the Patriots for their invite to the BK/Wendy’s/McD’s/KFC buffet of their dreams at the White House.

On behalf of Indifferent And Bitter America (Go Chiefs!) about the Super Bowl tomorrow night:

He should have flunked third grade with all the unnecessary capitalizations. And maybe he actually did.

Hey it makes up for them no longer having access to see Oddibe McDowell’s water bill, which was always enthralling and great.

Super Bowl LIX is going to be the best

Similarly the same folks will say, “BASEBALL GAMES ARE TOO LONGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! I’M BORED HURRY UP!”

Gregg Williams: “The NFL should be a little more bountiful in their decision!”

But seriously... it’s absolutely mind-blowing that Bohemian Rhapsody is nominated for Best Picture amongst all of those great films.

MAGAssholes convene for protest of Supreme Court case they don’t really know about from school or care about right now, but their parents paid for the trip. Behold the Sons of Squee and Kavanaugh.

Too many Wahlberg films. Sad!

Tom Brady can go back to his home planet now. Get the fuck out of here. And take the “roughing the passer” hand slap with ya, you dingus.

I sure hope they hire Piggypoopballs from Deadspin while they’re at it.

Welp. Time to go back to the days of Up With People playing at the Super Bowl every year. Ask Mike Pence and he’d say those were the good ol’ days, minus the scandalous hip-shaking.

So stay tuned for next week’s installment of Dead Letters

Throwback to the best Deadspin comment of all time