I sure hope they hire Piggypoopballs from Deadspin while they’re at it.

Welp. Time to go back to the days of Up With People playing at the Super Bowl every year. Ask Mike Pence and he’d say those were the good ol’ days, minus the scandalous hip-shaking.

So stay tuned for next week’s installment of Dead Letters

Throwback to the best Deadspin comment of all time

[sees your Gritty avatar]

Can’t wait to hear what Bob McNair has to say about this one!

Photographed in public for the first time without their make-up:

I’m sure that decision was a sometimes slick, but mostly hard one to pick on, and pick out.

The Tesseract!

But seriously, Jason Witten is comparable to Abraham Lincoln when put against somebody like Phil Simms.

Steelers kicker Chris Boswell: [red-faced]

Holy shit, those end-zone lounge chairs are something else.

+1 Staph email

This ruckus in Buffalo is severely lacking in tables, chokeslams, and dildos. 

+2 Crocs

Should’ve happened to this leg, instead.

Cheers to the ESPN intern and/or hot take sports guy who took your idea

Gruden face level:

ESPN: “Quick! To the Booger Mobile!”