Dad: “You should’ve been a Diver!”

You are the good banner. Yes you are!

Paxton Lynch: [loses job]

Great catch on your part! Not a great catch on his part. What a doofus.

Much like the Bartman play, this freeze frame is very The Last Supper-esque.

I used to count how many times Phil Simms would emphasize the words “OUTSIIIIIIDE” or “INSAAAAIIIDE”. He would say it at least 40 times a game.

Seriously, jokes aside, the alternate audio feeds are fantastic.

Well, ain’t that a club to the face!

He’s fucking awesome. What have we done to deserve this unlimited optimism?

Possum: [Paid PSL/“Possum Seat License”]

The Pepsi Super Bowl LIII Halftime Show Starring CBS’ Star of CBS’ Number One* Show NCIS: Los Angeles,

Every season with these assholes is what I imagine it’s like binge-watching every episode of MacGyver. You know exactly what the fuck they’re going to do, and we’re all just numb to it.

Reminder: This will somehow not be the dumbest thing posted on twitter this week.

Jets fans: [BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!]

These two shitheads were born for each other.

Ah! So he has met with LaVar Ball, already.

Philly Phanatic: [ponders new, efficient and fast way to groom his pubes]

I’ve seen it in restaurants before a big playoff game. They’re very dedicated, considering almost every human being is incredibly rude and ravenous when they have food in front of their face from a server.

His jaw looks like it’s been punched several times to the left side in his lifetime.

“Well that’s just disrespectful! They should know better!”