And I’m sure the police officers arrived there faster than my beloved Chiefs took their sweet-ass time in the final two minutes.

[Tony Stewart]: “Damn, this heckler must be high on weed!”

Roger Goodell: [Rubs hands together, smiling]

[Fans]: “Listen to us, Glazer family! Hire Jose Mourinho to run the football team!”

Good twist. But if you get on YouTube and search for videos of “Raiders and Chargers fans,” you’ll probably realize the fans in those two cities wouldn’t exactly handle that very well, mentally and physically. And speaking as a Chiefs fan, it would be quite the show.

It’s interesting to see that the Raiders are the only of the three to not specifically mention Los Angeles in their statements, just about “a relocation package.”

Maybe this opens up San Antonio, Santa Clara (hmm), Portland (?), or even that Raiders-to-St. Louis long-shot theory that’s been floating around?

Where’s the 2015 Deadspin Hall of Fame nominees list? Or did I just miss it?

And now Harvey is thinking back on that book title of his, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”

Husain Abdullah from the Chiefs

Belichick: [inhales soul]

2015 Bills Fans are a shoo-in for Deadspin HOF

It's great to see FIFA have adopted the World Cup rotation schedule. A new hotel every four years.

Ugh god, kinda impressed that Trent Green got that ball off to John Tait on that play before his brains (probably) got scrambled, even if the penalty negated it. That game is probably the only one shown on the 2002 Chiefs NFL film. Good times. Rudd rips his helmet off as if a snake were in it.

Shit. I wonder where this one ranks.

Tom Goes to the Mayor (Tim & Eric) was pretty awesome/weird too. It featured yet another underrated Bob Odenkirk role. Wizz!

It’s always around this time of year where I think back to the episode of the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. With Danzig.

Never! Misery is a big ol’ state

Why can’t the smartest plan be to play occasional neutral-site games in markets that don’t have NFL teams but are still at least within reach or maybe TV-range of being potential fan bases? Not necessarily annually, but to adhere to their rotating NFC-AFC/divisional formula.

Gomes Aid

Go to sleep, St. Louis. Have fun at third grade camp tomorrow.