The retired Edmonton Oilers defenseman, best-remembered for scoring a critical own goal in the playoffs of his rookie year in Game 7 of the 1986 Smythe Division Final against the Calgary Flames?

No, you see this guy "appears unable to imagine a cosmos that exists outside of himself, “the haters,” and social media", whereas Donald Trump… uh…

If Quentin Tarantino adapted a Liefeld comic, would the universe get kicked apart?

"Hey, at least I didn't throw up on her shirt! Damn, I'm smooth."

But Ghost Rider is owned by Marvel!

It just gets awkward when Shepard dies and they have to put the Dax host in a different body.

How can you pratfall in zero G?

I thought he was just referring to her sack racing abilities at the wrap party picnic. Laurence Fishburne and Michael Sheen whupped them in the three-legged race, however.

I also liked that the Perfect Dark multi let you play against bots- so instead of hanging out with your pals shooting each other, you could bond over shooting a bunch of faceless drones in a King-of-the-Hill scenario as a team.

John Goodman will return, but he will be playing Dan's never-before-mentioned twin brother Rhett.

Then he went on a quest for spiritual enlightenment. TIbet was too far away, so rather than consulting with some Lama, his guru was a stranger he found in the Alps.

Supple Anus Now?

I used to shop at Publix, and I started calling it John Q's in my head. I never told a soul.

A man came up to me and said "I'd like to change your mind
By hitting it with a rock, " he said, "Though I am not unkind."

Mechanical rice picker.

Class it up by crossing over with Derek Jacobi as Brother Cadfael.

These days? Netflix.

God: I made some bet with the Devil about giving the worst human on earth everything he could possibly want and had done nothing to deserve. He called it "the reverse Job". No idea what it was supposed to prove, though.

Can we at least come to terms with our withering existence over eggplant parmesean?

Is that Tom Hardy in the header?