It's like Child Protective Services, where I take the planet away if I don't think the parents (or humanity in general) are taking proper care of it.

I was saying Bo Obama.

Part of me wishes that Republican senators held petty grudges as well as the president, and Cruz, Rubio, etc. used that as justification for voting down any legislation that was part of Trump's agenda.

Law & Order: DS9 with Odo as the grizzled police chief would be fuckin' ace. But all the episodes would be five minutes long.

"These hot cross buns are perfect! …a little too perfect. He's a Cylon!"

See, I've had the reverse experience where basketball players look average sized when they're among other basketball players in a game, but then Craig Forth walks past you at the Carousel Mall* and you're all, "Damn, that guy is big."

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

"If your article can be summarized in its entirety as 'No.', don't write it."

Brian Blessed for the win. He has a great slow burn in I, Claudius, finally boiling over into, "Is there anyone in Rome who has not slept with my daughter?!"

Yep, it's the rest of New York that's dragging Utica down.

New Orleans is way more fun than Vegas.

After being left uninvited to the premiere, he is forced to buy his own tickets on Fandango.

He also sued them for spoiling the ending, where it turns out the zebra did it.

Jane Austen's American cousin didn't have the same knack for writing.

For years we believed whoever made Quest of the Delta Knights was a genius on par with Leonardo da Vinci, but then we found out he just copied the idea from a rough draft written by Archimedes* tucked away in a cave somewhere. So now the rights are virtually impossible to sort out.

"The secret’s already out about how Ten Years Later worked around its toughest scheduling conflict"

I_4_1_WLCM_R_CH@B0T_OFRLVDS

I still believe that David Bowie was secretly holding the fabric of the universe together, and that both the Cubs' win and the Trump presidency are symptoms of the space-time continuum being out of joint since his death.

He's just a poor boy, he needs no sympathy,
Because he's easy come, easy go.

(Queues up expectantly with Death to Smoochy references)