You smeghead.

Star Trek: Discovery's actual discovery would be that the overlap between the show about nerds and the show for nerds is smaller than one might think.

Oh, good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.

You gonna stay for breakfast, or do you already know how to eat?

Good news is Midichlorians are real, bad news is they don't give you a connection to an all-pervasive energy field guiding the universe, they just help bad cholesterol accumulate in your blood vessels.

He's more Theodore Bilbo than Bilbo Baggins.

My brother lived in Harrisburg for a few years, and he said the people at work could only talk about hunting, corn, and Jesus. I asked if he had learned anything good about corn.

This shit is being spewed by a man who- less than a goddamned month ago- would not agree to accept the results of the election, after spending the preceding eight years trying to delegitimize our President by claiming he was born in Kenya. Gee, Donny, I wonder where the fuck the people reluctant to accept the results…

Youtube just thinks I want to watch John Oliver clips and Pulp's "Like a Friend" three or four times in a row. They're pretty on point.

No, they mean you have to go to Barnes & Noble.

9.2/10, could have used Descendents over Offspring.

Put it on while you do your workout on the Charismatic Soloflex of Zantar 13.

He's basically Mr. Burns, so I wouldn't put it past him.

"Jabba, you're a wonderful human being!"

Here's hoping he chokes on it.

59? But men are still boys who don't know sexual assault is wrong at that age!

I'm going out for Mexican tonight, lack of taco trucks on every corner be damned. Without a prescription for antidepressants, queso is the closest over-the-counter substitute.

Yes there is something sadder, more pathetic and easily trollable [than] someone whose side lost this election, and unfortunately he's our president elect.

Does it have a seat to ride it? The one the maintenance guys in our building use is called "the chariot", which you drive standing up on the back of it.

Paul Ryan in his own party was already doing it before the election. This is one issue I will reach across the aisle to Republicans on.