Ugh, I got outbid on Henry on waivers after he was dropped in our league- I began the season with Delanie Walker and Jordan Reed, but traded Walker away, figuring Reed rendered him superfluous. Last week's fill-in was Dwayne Allen, who promptly caught one pass and then got injured.

Hey, Cookie Monster is a valued member of this website!

Fr. Guido Sarducci still knocks 'em dead!

Here's a rib-tickler- imagine a guy who got everything he ever asked for, who never wanted for anything from the day he was born, who lived a long life nearly any of us would envy, but still managed to die unhappy- miserable, bitter, and friendless, respected by virtually no one.

Holy shit, it's both hilarious and entirely expected that Eric would resort to that level of cheap bastardry. This is the son of a billionaire who cashes $0.13 checks, after all.

Notorious BIG, real name Chris Wallace. I saw a Chris Wallace on TV the other night, people are talking. They're saying things you wouldn't believe.

I like it as an alternate name for Jesus, since they could both be derived from the Hebrew Yeshua. He took his father's last name.

I'm with Gollum, I'm voting for Nasty Chips.

Smart money is on Rappin' Jake Sisko.

Victoria's Secret
"I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me."

Older than the chieftain Cniva who slew Roman emperor Decius at the Battle Arbittus?

Hey, who hasn't had an awkward gathering with a bunch of friends of friends turn inevitably to the attractiveness of aquatic mammals? Hot Dolphin!

Maybe he omitted "wings"?

Just look at what Tom Jones did to Selina Kyle.

Evidently Jugs with Faces on them is a whole folk art form, though it was associated with slaves in the low countries of Georgia and the Carolinas as opposed to hillbillies. I know a guy who collects them, but I'm not sure if it's because he genuinely enjoys them or because his wife thinks they're ugly.

Can you fake them out by playing "Lady Madonna" at an open mic, just to watch them lose their shit and quickly try and recover it?

I guess that's what he gets for not being food. Would it be any comfort if they replaced it with reviews of Goldberg's Bagel Co and Deli? They have… reuben eggrolls.

So we construct it, but Mexico eventually pays for it from all the $1.25 bags of Cheetos they buy from the Wall O' Vending Machines? It's a perfect plan until it's time to restock it.

He thought it said Brokencyde.

I've gotten around to watching Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, now that it's on Netflix. It didn't strike me while I was reading the book, but seeing it on screen makes me realize the Man With Thistle-Down Hair is basically Bowie as Jareth in Labyrinth. Now I'm wondering if there's someway you could strike a bargain…