Good news for former MLB catcher Greg Olson, but bad news for former MLB pitcher Gregg Olson.

Maybe a version of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin where he's a pimp who shoots lightning from his hands? And his bifocals let him see the future. George Washington sells him his weed.

"Neither of us can keep our temper."

It's a lousy song in and of itself, but factor in that it starts off the worst Bond film, and likely led to the completely unnecessary Madonna cameo therein, and it becomes much worse.

I'd like to come, but I need help arranging transportation. Is anyone available to take me to that place? Take me all the way?

His response to Calculon's "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bam the lady.", where he says, "Well, I'd appreciate it if I did, so I guess were even." is a great comeback any time someone asks you to stop something, provided there isn't a good reason to actually heed them.

MAAAAAAPS! Wait! They don't love you like I love you!

Japandroids, Local H, early TMBG…

*gasp* Congo Jack!

Too long. I suggest she go by Rebel (The Star Wars Kind) Wilson.

Brother, I got a load of the nerds the likes of which you haven't seen since I backed a dump truck up to Willy Wonka's candy factory.

There was a scandal last year when someone was firing off under-inflated fireballs.

How can hipsters hate him? He's the Craig Finn of the previous generation!

Ja, for süre frøm Sveden!

She's the opposite of Skynet!

Every time I see Anne Hathaway.

She's a regular Marie Prevost!

Especially his farts.

He inflicts pain for his own amusement. There are times I seriously think this is the god Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist talk to.

Hinduism instead of Islam, but I'll take any excuse to link the Perry Bible Fellowship.