Meatball sub is the "8-8" of sandwiches

I sent in a complaint to the FCC regarding Pete Carroll's middle finger to basic human intelligence. Any reason why that is not on the list, Barry?

Worse than that, she's going to have the residual taste of Chloraseptic, stuffed crust pizza, and Jim Boeheim's ass on her mouth for hours.

...zot

The Dress was blue.

Can't the British FA just secretly arm the enslaved builders and foment a revolt?

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter and, quite possibly, your life.

I have a theory about people who become wildly successful/famous on the level that Steve has achieved: their relationship with their past, pre-fame and success, is an either or proposition. Either they embrace it. Or they shed it like a snake sheds its skin, leaving it in the middle of the road, to dry up and blow…

"I wanted to marry you or have you adopt me"

Bad thing: He killed a guy with a trident.

Bad things about Steve Carrell: He is not, currently, my best friend.

What's touching about the Simmons Oscar is that he's such a working person's actor - it's really one for all of those "hey, it's that guy!" performers who dream of making it to this moment. And it will come on an evening when the In Memoriam reel will include one of the greatest actors of that kind, James Rebhorn.

Muriel, you fucking idiot! It's two girls and one cup!

This is an amazing feat, considering magic has been banned outright in Alabama.

a 50? horsepower 1973 VW Baja Bug

"I ORDERED WHOLE WHEAT TOAST FOUR TIMES AND YOU GUYS KEEP CUTTING IT IN HALF!"

I highly suggest you read the article, or the links in it again.

Don't tase me doe!

Too soon

The Browns understand the potential consequences of exploiting this loophole, but a high-ranking team executive said that, "it's worth taking a shot".