Everything you said is true, and there are definitely huge issues with the British press, but consider what Megan and Harry were complaining about (other than the truly troubling conversation about the baby’s skin color, that is):

Aurelio’s is pretty great, but it’s really surprising that it works so well.  They have some of the sweetest sauce I’ve ever tasted, and super salty cheese.  It’s like they’re going for the salty/sweet combo, but with pizza.

If you’re faulting the Queen for her response, with all due respect, you don’t understand anything about the Royal Family. They. Don’t. Comment. On. Anything. Their policy is always “Say nothing and take the high road.” In fact, I believe this was calculated by Megan and Harry, because they KNEW there would be no…

I had pizza with chunks of fresh caught tuna soaked in cream, mozzarella, and a tiny swipe of tomato sauce once, and it was freaking great.

I feel like the Lasagna was a little bit different sauce than the others. More tomato-ey. I never liked it as much. The Overstuffed are disgusting.

I knew we could count on her.  I had zero doubt.

I mean, if this kind of work doesn’t deserve a star, what does?

It has always been garbage.

Are you sure you have eaten Chicago style pizza before? What do you mean you “can’t” pick it up? I always pick up my slices and eat them. I only use a knife and fork when the crust is still to hot to touch. In the restaurant when the pizza is fresh, that usually means about half of my first slice, then I pick it up…

But did you have it warm off the line? It’s a completely different experience. A hot Krispy Kreme is a thing of absolute beauty. A cold one is merely “pretty good.”

They have a veggie egg white omelet that is actually pretty good. You can get it as a breakfast sandwich or as one of their “wake up wraps” that are really just a taco made from half an omelet. It’s healthier than most fast food breakfast sandwich fare too.

Their donuts are pretty decent, but they’re made in a factory at like 3am and they are stale by 10am.  If you get one on your way to work, they’re usually still reasonably fresh, and then they’re pretty good.  

Eh, I don’t mind it. Shandies are good on a hot summer day, and Summer Shandy is drinkable in that situation. Stiegl Grapefruit Radler is the king though.

Not to be confused with Wisconsin Jesus, who turns snow into beer and ice into cheese curds.

Fun fact:  - 40 degrees is where the Celsius and Fahrenheit temperature scales meet (i.e., -40 Celsius = -40 Fahrenheit).

I actually like their cod sandwich a little better.  But it doesn’t matter, Culver’s two fish sandwiches are #1a and #1b by a long shot in the world of fast food fish sandwiches.  They’re not just the best fast food fish sandwiches, they’re some of the best fish sandwiches I’ve ever had, period.

A couple of things to add about Old Forge pizza:

I’m not sure there is, or ever will be, a fast food fish sandwich war. Nobody is touching Culver’s fish sandwich, ever.

I’ve always assumed that Popeye’s assembles every order fresh. If not, then I really have no idea why they take 4x longer to get an order out than any other fast food restaurant.

You could not be any more wrong.  You could try, but you would not be successful.