Except it’s not straightforward, because under your definition, a “wrap” can become a “sandwich” in the middle of the act of eating it, which makes no goddamn sense.

Not surprising you think that!  My wife is one of those weird people too, and she would say the same.  Honestly, I love ranch, and I’m still not sure about it.

I have to say, Chilito would be a pretty sweet name for a dog.

Would I try it? Of course. Unless you’re one of those people with the weird ranch/sour cream/mayo aversions, why not? What is the worst that could happen? Ranch dressing tastes fine with tomatoes on a sandwich, and I’ve had a tasty Caribbean sandwich that uses salsa criolla and mayo.

Rick Bayless is a very respected chef of Mexican cuisine, and I am 94.8% positive that his Frontera tomatillo salsa and his Frontera “guacamole mix” are exactly the same thing.  And assuming I’m correct, then mixing tomatillo salsa into mashed avocados is a recipe for really tasty guacamole.

Your theory means that if the hot dog bun breaks in half in the middle of eating it (as it sometimes does), then the hot dog spontaneously changes from a wrap to a sandwich in some sort of divine transfiguration.  It makes no logical sense.  I only subscribe to things that make logical sense.

“He’s also a guy who can run high IQ circles around 45” 

By your ridiculous definition, the following things are “wraps” and not sandwiches:

Not true. Wealthy people can choose to worry about money, and they can choose to live closer to their means than they need to, but everyday life poses no concern to them.

Your “categories” make absolutely no logical sense.

I read the title and thought, “Oh Splinter, come on. This is just another one of your exaggerations. Surely it can’t be the WORST POSSIBLE thing to say to 9/11 survivors. I hate Trump as much as anyone, but sometimes the exaggeration here is over the top and counterproductive.”

I’m actually very into craft beer, but some of these people are just crazy. I get bored listening to them, I can’t even imagine how boring it would be to someone who has no interest in the subject.

Yes. I don’t consider someone “wealthy” unless they really don’t have to worry about money.

I mean, if a taco, gyro, or burrito were served on “bread” instead of “flatbread,” then they would indeed be considered a sandwich. Otherwise, they are technically “wraps.”

Estate taxes are actually wealth taxes, and inflation caused by deficit spending is effectively a “wealth tax.” The truly wealthy usually find ways to minimize the effect of both, as they would with any tax. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though.

It most certainly is stupider than craft beer!  It’s got no nuance or complexity, it’s just alcohol and water.

“What do you call it if it’s on a bun? It’s a hot dog, right? What do you call it if it’s not on a bun? It’s still a hot dog.”

You know, when TG first expanded Pseudo Sue distribution, I think they contracted some of the brewing out. Because I bought a 4-pack the first time I saw one, and TBH, it kind of sucked. I actually refused to buy any more of it and wrote TG off as hype. Then one day, I tried King Sue, and it blew my mind, so I decided…

Please consider clap hands emojis to be between every word of the following sentence: I don’t give a fuck who you claim to be, I’m just telling a story of something that actually happened.

I mean... it’s not “faked” though. She actually said those things, and the part that was cut out doesn’t really change it. Honestly, I don’t really see the objection to the editing of that video. It doesn’t really change the message, and it’s no more or less offensive than the original. It’s no more or less “doctored”…