if i were herman i’d be most worried about being outed as a vodka guy.  

Hard to believe he emotionally and physically abused his wife.

Did you know Tristan Thompson changed his shooting hand? Or that Kevin Love's uncle was in The Beach Boys?

Anyone wanna know all that I know about Tommy Boy?

He must not have gone to a very good school if he didn’t realize that conservation of momentum would mean that ball would travel forward.

“All Furman needs is a lovable elderly super fan to become the sport’s new mid-major darling.”

great choice...see also the national’s ‘lucky you’...which starts out seemingly to describe a couple that’s deeply in love and forever committed, but then ends thusly:

“Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky, scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves”

Chills.

Peyton goes to Red Lobster, while living in one of the greatest seafood cities on Earth.

we gon’ have a nice l’il bowl of gumbo together

no one has mentioned this**, but the 2009 Saints lost to Tampa at the end of the year before beating the Colts in the Super Bowl.

not for nothin, but Silver Sluggers would be a great name for a seniors boxing league

employees told police this wasn’t the first time they had seen Howe masturbate there, but didn’t report it because they were hoping it was only a one-time thing.

Another victim of the “what happens in North Las Vegas is a matter of public record” loophole.

employees told police this wasn’t the first time they had seen Howe masturbate there, but didn’t report it because they were hoping it was only a one-time thing.

911 Dispatcher: “Who did you see masturbating?”

If you can’t masturbate in a bar at 9:15AM in Vegas then where can you masturbate in a bar at 9:15AM at?

I don’t like to name names after a fucking

“Twelve fucks in a minute? Wait, was he on the boat with us?”

“The Vikings’ offense, operated by the independent-thinking coordinator Bob Schnelker, may need some rethinking. How can an offense with wide receiver Anthony Carter and Walker in the same lineup be so ineffective?”