I only ever want to be invited to Mac n’ cheese bar weddings. Where was my invite!?

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

There were a lot of people last night commenting on how they were trying to evaluate his boxing career separate from his behavior outside the ring.

My son doesn’t like peanuts or peanut butter. When he was about four, he told a friend’s mom that he was allergic, and she, understandably, called me and freaked out that I hadn’t mentioned his “allergy” before he came over. I had to explain to him that he couldn’t lie about stuff like that, or he was going to end up…

I’m severely allergic to corn. I can no longer be around it being cooked without having an asthma attack. Try being allergic to corn in the US. It sucks.

Yes, it does matter.

Please don’t claim an allergy when it’s just a preference, no matter how strong your preference is. That is why servers have become so cavalier about them. Twenty years ago, when I was waiting tables, no one was cavalier about them, but faking them wasn’t a big thing then.

I am a teacher. I do believe—strongly and vehemently—that, in a school situation, we must be hyper-vigilant about any possible allergic reactions. However, I am just about over parents telling me, while waving printouts from The Food Babe’s website, that little Shirley is “allergic” to high-fructose corn syrup. No,…

I hate raw tomatoes, especially in certain things like quesadillas where I feel like I get more tomatoes than cheese or chicken. And they’re all WET so it makes everything slippery. At one restaurant, I got sick of always getting tomatoes when I asked for none so I started answering “allergy” instead of “preference”…

I love mangoes. My stomach does not love mangoes. A restaurant once failed to honor my “seriously, no mango in this please” request and I ended up projectile vomiting all over everything, in full view of a ton of potential customers.

My brother got worried after my wedding that his wouldn’t be as fun. I told him there’s just one way to ensure it’s fun: Have fun yourselves. Give your guests food, drink and dancing, keep it simple, but for God’s sake, enjoy it. It is so infectious to see a bride and groom having a blast. My husband and I sure did;…

If there were a way to ban people from asking me questions about my wedding, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Ah yes, I’m starting to have fun with the “wedding theme” questions.

I’m four months out and I’m still asking WTF every 15 minutes with questions that I’m straight up confused about. And so many people seem to think you HAVE to do things and why wouldn’t you do these things? I have an aunt that thought not having a garter toss was a straight up abomination. In the end I lied and said…

Perfect advice! Just enjoy the day, do all that you can do in preparation to enjoy yourselves. No one wants to remember how cranky the bride and groom were.

Ditto. We went to Vegas. It’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. If people put as much thought and work into their marriages instead of their gingham mason jar flower holders, we’d all be better off.

I love your wedding theme! If I have one more vendor mention making my wedding a “fairytale” or the phrase “happily ever after” I’m going to lose it. A major factory in choosing our photographer was because she wrote the following on her website: “I want my couples to look at their wedding day photos and see the love,…

“Fuck that, are you kidding me?” <—————— YES. THANK YOU. My exact response when I got engaged and started researched pricing for all of the venues I had put on a mental “consider for when we get engaged” list. At the end of the day I realized that the kind of bride I wanted to be was a MARRIED bride. That’s it. That…

I had to fill out some dumbass survey to get a quote from a local photographer, and one of the questions was “what kind of bride are you?” Choices were: Traditional, Wild, DIY, Fairytale (and maybe I’m missing another one). I clicked “other” and wrote “simple.” I am a simple goddamn bride. Yes, my wedding will be…