“Generous”? Well let’s hope she’s not TOO generous, amiright? wink wink, nudge nudge

Well I always wanted a bun made of potential, my boobs are charming, and my ladyparts are confident and versatile, so at least the graphic is accurate.

Hmmmm... What did mother pack in the old fruit pocket today I wonder?

We keep our salad tongs in it:

It wasn’t on the registry. I don’t know. I’ve grown pretty fond of it.

There are no Dr. Seuss productions outside of the old animated versions of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Lorax, and Horton Hears a Who. I refuse to accept any others.

If you’re going to give a wok or a slow cooker, you have to do two things. 1. Seriously consider whether something else on the registry is a better fit. 2. INCLUDE SOME GODDAMN RECIPES! Seriously. If you’re gifting an appliance or tool the recipient may have never used before, make them understand why you think it’s…

Eh, I think if people have to travel for your wedding they’re 100% off the hook when it comes to buying a gift. Writing out a card is fine.

The latter part about trying to come on your honeymoon is weird, but if a person has to spend a significant amount just to be there, they are double not obligated to get you a gift. It’s nice if it is in their means to do both, but if not, it doesn’t make them an asshole.

Had to be done because that shit just looks WRONG

ahahahahhhaha, STUFF FROM PIER ONE IS THE WORST!

For my wife and I, the real silver silverware set engraved with my last initial. For when the Queen comes by, I suppose.

I’m seeing so much hate for buying off registry.

We’re not even married yet, and I’m so touched by the engagement presents. Since we don’t have a registry yet, they’re all “off registry.” We’ve gotten some amazing, heartfelt things, like a set of yellow teacups that I just stare and stare at. And stack-able cups that…

This needs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more stars. It needs a web feature or something.

I never thought about IKEA as a major step in a relationship...until I arrived at IKEA and realized the whole place was laid out exactly like the IKEA where my parents (and my partner’s parents) had taken us both shopping children. Both of us were struggling with Oedipal conflicts before we’d even gotten to the…

My parents are the only two people I’ve ever seen put together Ikea furniture without wanting to cause bodily harm to the other person. I guess that explains why they’ve been married for 41 years.

Violence is never the answer. Yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.

You can almost see the thought bubble: “What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?! This is the most violence I have EVER BEEN EXPOSED TO IN MY LIFE”