Did you miss this part?

I like the little kid Christmas colouring books - simple and fun, esp. after a few glasses of wine. :D

I would like to see Kate colour a few pics in this awesome book: Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace!. I love this book. So much fun to colour. I also recommend the Unicorns are Jerks book.

Also, and maybe this was on purpose, but that really popular illustrator’s name is Johanna Basford, not Bamford.

His abs do not make up for leaving a poopy diaper under a table in a restaurant. SO GROSS.

That’s a scary thought. I am going back to my couch cushion fort now.

Rational me is glad they took away his Twitter and gave him a smack on the nose, but mostly, since he’s in anyway and we’re all fucked, I sort of just want them to let him have free reign with it.

Throw all the tremendously huge temper tantrums on Twitter you want, Donny, let ‘er rip. Show everyone what you’re made of.

Of course he doesn’t - he’s not like that Crooked Hillary and her crooked emails and crooked lies... email is for crooked people.

Crooked. That word looks more ridiculous the more I see it (and I’ve been seeing it way too much lately). Sweet baby jeebus we’re all in for a long four years.

Your guy is ADORABLE!!

“In other news, Tom Cruise is obsessed with cryotherapy because he fears old age,...”

I’m 40 and have been getting white hair since my early 30's, and since I can’t dye my hair (horribly allergic to hair dye -I get huge itchy lumps and then my scalp peels, it’s gross) I’m learning to love the little jerks. Except the ones that grow in white and squiggly and refuse to behave and stick out like fucked up…

:D Ha ha! I married the Master of Stupid Jokes, so I appreciate them!

I think you and I should get a drink and discuss our mothers. I was cooking most the meals around ten or eleven years old. To be fair, at first, it was because both my parents did shift work and I only made uncomplicated stuff like Hamburger Helper and grilled cheese so my younger sister and I could eat at a normal…

And I will internally applaud if it is a person with luggage or playing Angry Birds on their phone.

Mine too! She once called me in from outside. I was WAAAYYY out at the far end of the wooded area that bordered our property—and I say “called” when I ought to say, “screamed her fucking head off” to tell me to go downstairs and take out some chicken from the freezer for dinner.

She was not injured or impaired, she…

Someone get that guy a Chapstick! I mean, you’re filthy rich, buddy! Splurge on some Chapstick, go wild and get one of the flavoured ones.

If you don’t stand right/walk left on the escalator. JUST DO IT. And, while we’re on the subject, take your luggage/stroller/bike on the elevator, you goddamn asshat.

It’s true. The Club 16 I go to regularly has people yelling conversations across the floor at each other (“WOW, HELEN! THAT’S SO GREAT BOB CAN GO GOLFING AGAIN, YOU HAVE YOUR LIFE BACK NOW!”) and people yapping on their cellphones (loudly) while taking up a treadmill as a coat and bag holder, people who cannot ever…

White cheddar mac and cheese with a tin of tuna in it, eaten directly from the pot while watching STNG reruns on Netflix.

I also hate this cutesy, clichéd, rubbish. These are the sorts of things that, when I receive them as gifts, I donate away.

I guess that’s not very grateful of me, and it’s the thought that counts, but really - how much thought does anyone who buys this crap for other people really put in to the purchase? “Mimble…

Oh sweet jesus...I thought, “She played in a frothy mud puddle and oh my god that is actual shit covering her legs and not mud at all she looks like she’s wearing Uggs made of poo and holy hell someone get that poor mom a hose and a bunch of booze asap....”