My Scottish heritage of cattle thieving and drinking has gotten me nowhere as well. But, at least I've got the skills to steal from the posh people and drink them under the table. Yay?

She's not really smiling either. She has a barely polite "Hurry the fuck up and get on with this bullshit" smile. I have a similar smile in many a forced family photo.

I agree - she doesn't seem to be terribly interested in being everyone's BFF or kissing up to people. And given all the scrutiny her private life already gets, I can hardly blame her for not offering up more of herself to strangers for a quick soundbite that will sell magazines.

It looks like she smeared a bingo dabber under her arms.

I read the link, but I still feel as though I'm reading an Onion-esque piece - that's a real quote? Like, he actually said that? For real? If so, I have some overly full barf bags to send him.

This made me giggle tea down my chin. After all the horror stories I've been reading today, this was a much needed laugh. Thank you. :D

I married and divorced in my early twenties as well - it was really difficult, and I felt like a total failure at life. The people that I am still friends with from that time were the ones who offered to be a friendly ear to listen and got me out of my own head by getting me out of the house where I couldn't sit and…

I wish I'd had your good sense. I dated a guy with vanity plates that read "MORETOYS" for 3 years. If he was Tony Stark, and the car was some million dollar car, I could maybe see having that vanity plate, but dude drove a decent Altima - not really vanity plate material.

I used to take a different route at high school as well - a group of guys used to line up along the windows of the breezeway that connects two parts of the school and yell things like, "Nice shitter!" at all the girls, and they'd throw coins at your ass (a penny if your ass wasn't up to their exacting standards of…

"Here's an idea: Hire somebody to vet these ideas before you spend money making them."

You are doing that whole parenting thing just right - big hugs to you and your awesome kids. :D

Right there with you - reading this brought back some pretty awful memories of my own assaults, and they were not this bad. Good thoughts and hugs to you (and hell, everyone and anyone reading this and feeling sick).

It scares the hell out of me to think that you are very likely right. If there are others, I hope they can find the courage to speak up and be heard so this worthless blight on humanity can be put away for a very long time.

You are an awesome granddaughter. :D

I would love the play CaH and get high with these ladies. :D

I can't apply mascara without poking myself in the eye, so glue and crystals near my eyeballs? Fuggedaboutit.

I've always liked having holes bored into the side of my head by some guy's desperate need to be noticed...

Your wife and I had very similar reactions. No way in hell would I have taken a 12 year old girl to see that film.

I want to steal this dress (or get a reasonable copy) - it's so pretty!

I thought it said "Shaving Christmas" too - you're not alone. That font is a travesty - even Comic Sans would have been a better choice. At least then it would have been legible.