This guy is the WORST. God I hope he’s gone after this.

Aw don’t do that to Bill

Not to get pedantic...but they say “unsubstantiated, highly exaggerated or flat out inaccurate.” If you’re the subject of a rumor and your most severe criticism of it is that it’s unsubstantiated, that just means it’s true but you haven’t admitted it. If the reports were REALLY false, you could just say ‘highly…

What about Belichick specifically choosing to send Garoppolo to the 49ers so it eats at Tom Brady that the guy who was threatening to steal his job is now living out Tommy’s childhood dreams?

You are my favorite Jezebel writer, and between reading the headline and clicking on this article, I was reeeeally hoping that this would be someone else’s horrible take.

They certainly couldn’t have been more clunkily integrated because that would be impossible.

I’m only familiar with college athletics...are there rules against getting this guy to commit with money? Cars? Hookers?

Are we sure they aren’t just looking after their own? Maybe they’re assuming that the money all goes to medical expenses resulting from table dive injuries.

“It takes a village...do your part and adopt two medium two-topping pizzas for just $14.99 tonight!”

This would really make an amazing ad campaign if they ran with it.

Heartbreaking. Obviously no one has an easy time becoming orphaned, but having it happen right before Christmas is especially tough. Stay strong, pizza.

Thank you!! Screwed up two massive infrastructure projects, AND then was a traitor to the Empire at the end. He’s like, Herbert Hoover and Benedict Arnold combined, and now he’s some imperial legend? No way.

Like Magary said, contract the AFC North. It’s for the best.

Is that the weird spot that had karaoke? I ended up at a pizza place near Lyndale and Lake for karaoke on a really drunk Monday a few years ago but I don’t see the spot on Google Maps right now.

Does Jolie Kerr listen to this? I feel like Marchman’s wine-on-suit inaction would make her insane.

Go fuck yourself.

Is the 1/2 Andy Reid on all non-clock related matters?

John Henson voted for Jill Stein.

Oh man, his actual texts are really that bad!

Like he said, his per 36 numbers are incredible.

What SI article? I’d be curious to read it. I think that’s the most interesting part of all this, trying to unpack whether there’s real neglect of Okafor’s development because it conflicted with the team’s goal of tanking, or if it’s just the effect of playing on such a shitty team at the start of your career, or if…