The ZZZen Master

If an average person gained the ability to do a video game double jump, would they instantly be a top 20 NBA player?

The Cleveland Browns: the one team where your value increases the less often you have to get on the field.

The losing team should be forced to go to the White House. Talk about motivation to win.

Watermelons are officially berries.

RE: animal battle vs spiked suit of armor

Scouts want to know how he’d have performed if it was under a shotgun.

It might attract Bears, but hopefully ESPN will be smart enough to avoid televising Bears games.

How could you forget his classic, “Dooon’t Caaare!!”?

Ice tip #312: let the water sit in the ice tray for a couple of minutes before putting it in the freezer for clear ice or use distilled water.

The Chicago Bears are already trading away picks to move up and snag him in a future draft...

Coming from a Chicagoan: sometimes it feels like everyone does...

BREAKING NEWS: Rodgers Shaves His Beard

I think the proper response would be, “Divorce and remarry that lady!”

As someone who both drives and bikes through the streets of Chicago, I wish driving tests included a 15 minute bike ride in the city. Sometimes a little perspective can go a long way.

We get it. You have a CapsLock button. Lousy showboating 1%er...

“Closer Familia closer to the returning to the diamond after beating charges of beating his familia”. - L. Knope

Looks like you have an enemy that was too cheap to buy you a glitter bomb.

I guess his crashbreaker wasn’t available.