Haven't you been run off these forums yet?

HAHAHAHAHA! You're a fucking comedy genius!!! You're like a living, breathing episode of Everybody Loves Raymond!!! Why are you wasting time on Deadspin???? Two Broke Girls needs to contact you immediately!!! Don't let this treasure go to waste!!!!

He's also too stupid to know how to hang the American flag properly.

It's cute how you keep trying to make jokes, but I think the stench of failure that envelops everything in your life is so prevalent that you simply can't cut through the fog. Let me simplify this for you. You're not funny. Learn to live with it.

You're still trying, and it's sad. I kind of feel sorry for you.

So, what's the "story" here, Sean Newell? I don't understand. Did you seriously quit law to do this?

Nope. You were trying to be funny. You failed. Sorry that hurts you so much.

It is. It's hard to suffer fools like you in silence.

Not funny person, meet the real world.

Well, that might officially be the worst joke ever posted on Deadspin. Congratulations, dummy.

You really don't know when to quit. I know your mom encourages you, but come on, you're old enough to know she doesn't mean it. Or are you?

Still trying to be funny. Sad.

A sweater and a sweatshirt are two different things. Why are you so lazy, Tom Ley?

"Paulina Gretzky, who is basically cocaine in humanoid form..." Samer Kalaf is at it again! This is the pinnacle of prose, good sir! "You know any more?" Have you ever thought about, I don't know, doing your own research?

You... you were. Shut up now. Bye bye.

You can't argue with a delusional person. You just go on through life thinking you're funny. I'm sure it will server you well, kid.

Pretty sure they didn't. How do you even manage to post here, being so stupid?

Finding out that you have a law degree just makes your career as a hack blog 'writer' even more pathetic.

OK. You're not funny. I don't know who told you that you were, but they're wrong. Shut up now. Bye.

Nope. I just want you to stop trying to be funny, because you aren't.