That's what I call a sinking Jew!

Who gives a fuck? I want to read an article about Tommy Craggs.

Why are we worried about some dumb Jap? Where is the outcry for the American runners?

Something you probably should have known when writing an article about this. How do you morons get this gig?

Ladies, if you ever want lessons on how to go down on a Pepsi bottle, hit me up!

Emma Carmichael is a bitch-ass whore who writes pointless articles for Gawker.

Meet the dunce writers who don't know anything about this story, but it doesn't stop them from writing about it. Racist fuckbags.

I guess that's a "no." I have pics if you'd like. Can we talk offline?

I hate your politics, but you're fucking hot, if that's really your picture. For realz.

If you are a woman, I'd like to at least talk offline. Do you have a pic you could send?

Not true, you can also count on Tom Ley making snarky generalizations about people he knows nothing about in order to keep his pathetic job with a third-rate sports gossip site.

Shut up.

Don't worry. I'm certain that you'll be back to making snarky comments about them soon enough, you hack.

Well, they had an explanation in the story and yet they still used the word "mysterious" in the headline when they knew full well it wasn't. I love it so much when idiots call other people idiots when they aren't idiots. Idiot.

If you have the maturity of a Deadspin writer, or absolutely nothing better to do with your life, then sure.

It's funny when people die! You're hilarious!

Also, because you're a dipshit.

A beer for dipshits? Then it's tailor made for Gawker Media writers!

Remember, this is Tom Ley. It's not like he knows what he's writing about. He did the typical amount of Deadspin research, which is zero.