You joke but you might literally be correct

All they needed to do was yell, “no-homo” while tackling him if they didn’t want to turn gay.

Adam Shefter is definitely the hard seltzer of sports reporters, so this makes sense on that level.

They tried this with Darren Rovell, but they couldn’t create a baseline for the pulse readings.

Maybe it doesn’t apply to Schefter or Woj, but I suspect this is the only way reporters will be able to make a living in 5 years. 

He’s short, he’s Canadian, and he simply cannot be touched.

To be fair, he was too busy testing balcony furniture for its aerodynamics.

So the Yankees are just going to mime giving a giant a handjob for the rest of the season?

Tired of all these primadonnas complaining about not getting to play with what they want. Well boohoo snowflake, there are millions of people who would gladly take your place and play for nothing. What happened to being a MAN and playing football in nothing but a leather shell? That’s real FOOTBALL. You go out there…

He is an army veteran who chose to support the country that he defended as a fellow army veteran myself I understand but civilians dont understand what the flag actually means to us. It’s a rally cry to defend ungrateful people who complain while we sacrifice our blood sweat tears and family’s and our lives so you can…

“No.”—The Ghost of Huey Long

I have no idea.

how dare you, Drew Brees is a saint 

They pillaged it, but left the rape part to Big Ben.

If you think Bell was standing up for others then the joke’s on you....

I gotta say, respect to the Madden curse for really upping its fucking game. No resting on laurels there. 

We are using your post as one of the analytical readings in my uni class. Very well written and an interesting read. :)

I personally have gay family members who I love and support just as I do any family member.

"I'm not a bigot! I'm not bi-anything! That's fucking disgusting!"

I've found that after eight winters in the brutal cold of Minnesota winters, the only thing that sustains me are the warm tears of anonymous Internet commenters. I suspect your vintage shall be exceedingly delicious, and I'm putting it in the special rack next to the Jackson 2011. Bon vivant!