MYSTICS IN BALI
I'm too late for a weekend recommendation but it is never too late to watch Mystics in Bali holy shit that movie rules.

I know you're joking but I'm not opposed to this idea.

Aziz Ansari as the voice of Deadpool or I don't want it.

No, I have so many stupid internet dating/hookup stories, it's kind of insane. There was the time when I broke a stranger's coffee table banging a dude I met on Omegle and I spent a week hiding the massive bruise on like 30% of my body. Back when myspace was still a thing, I hooked up with a guy who took me to a used…

I actually kinda want this, especially if someone can get Eric Andre methed up enough to agree to be Mughi.

Okay, I swore I would never fall in love online again after my 2+ year affair with that heroin addict from Tennessee went tits up, but you may have just stolen my heart, internet stranger.

I could hear actual shrieking in the other end of my house at that line.

I like your style, kid.

Oh sure, with me it begins with Ben & Jerry's, but usually ends with Irish car bombs. I'll let you determine whether that means I have a drinking problem or I just really hate a particular redheaded ex-boyfriend.

Oh, honey, same. I have leftover birthday cake and like eight things of ice cream in my freezer, you can come over to my house and we can talk about it in the most disgustingly cliche way possible if you want.

Who? Excuse me? Urbanski? Who?

STEALING THIS RECIPE
[edit: I once made a piña colada with coconut rum and pineapple sherbet, and it was exactly as terrible a decision as you would expect. And by "once" I mean I repeated this decision half a dozen more times since the first time. Spoiler, it hasn't ever improved.]

I introduced a friend to this show for the first time tonight, and we pretty much agreed that Jack McBrayer talking about pooping is the absolute best. Also: Jason Momoa is so ridiculously handsome.

There's a UK version of the show! I would like all the Drunk Histories from all the places, please.

Little too on the nose there, buddy.

My phone constantly autocorrects it to RuPaul's Dragon Race, which upsets me because that doesn't exist. Why the fuck is it called predictive text if it can't predict the actual future? Unless Ru's saving some surprises for season eight?

You know what sucks? I remember seeing keys, but who knows what they actually did. Like, maybe they just turned on the headlights. I don't even know if helicopters have headlights. It's probably a good thing I didn't end up stealing it.

I tried to steal a helicopter out of a hotel parking lot once when I was in high school, but I couldn't figure out how to get it off the ground. But seriously, who just leaves the keys in a helicopter?

Um, I'm an adult? And I can eat pizza whenever the fuck I WANT.

I was holding my breath for Motorcity, and then NOTHING. Dutch was such an interesting character, too.