There aren’t any new sodas because all the new drinks are coffee or sports drink or some other bullshit energy drink (Monster Energy for instance). There aren’t any new car companies because there actually is one really fucking big new car company called Tesla.

All the jokes on this post so far are terrible, but yours is especially terrible for how thirsty it is.  

Oh come on Mr. Monkey, obviously Hank did know a lot more about the LPGA than many many people, including the Deadspin babies, who know absolutely nothing. He knew that it was dominated by Koreans. I’d bet a Stanley nickel that the Deadspin babies couldn’t name two current LPGA golfers.

The fact is that most of the Deadspin babies and other outrage warriors just don’t know how much Koreans dominate womens golf. Because they don’t watch or care about womens golf. Which is kind of what Hank was getting at, while knowing a lot more about it than the Deadspin babies and other outrage warriors.

Yes it is. I mean, it’s at least 20-30 drunk seconds faster. It’s faster enough that I have watched many games on my phone while seeing the same game way behind on the TV at a bar.

As Parker Molloy noted in a thread responding to the tweet above, there exists a bundle of right-wing websites whose only interaction with D-II track and field comes when Telfer succeeds.

Well I guess I should have read all the way down before calling you a stupid asshole.  I agree with you that after something has been broadcast nationally (or a movie out for a weekend), then spoiler-babies should either avoid it or get over it.  It’s the ruining something before anyone could reasonably have a chance…

This makes me angry enough at Deadspin to turn adblock off on barstoolsports....................and visit barstoolsports.

You know that I can see sports faster on my phone than it comes on TV - usually about 20-30 seconds. So I should just go down to a local sports bar and start yelling everything that is getting ready to happen, right?

Are you fucking stupid? Serious question, because it is the only explanation for what you are saying. Of course it is still enjoyable to watch something if you know the end. Because there are still other elements - the drama, the action, etc. What is ruined is the element of surprise, the “what is going to…

Yeah, I don’t think we disagree on too much here*, except I think that giving $2MM to CJ for basically nothing (I view it as basically nothing, I realize it isn’t literally nothing) would actually be very on brand and a expected direction for a franchise that has made stupid decision after stupid decision. I totally…

We established that you were speaking on behalf of the weakest, most useless and self-hating white people, who enjoy watching their wives get railed out.  No need to further clarify it, you are their unmistaken leader. 

1. Gabe is saying someone is owed something. Not from a legal standpoint, and nobody has argued that. Again, if you write “If not for that, then it should be done to regain some goodwill that has been lost amongst the fanbase for being a franchise where talent goes to die.” ... then it is impossible to then turn…

“If anything, you seem to be arguing that the Lions should get all CJ’s time, energy, and media networks for free.”

Really? So you think after reading this...

The clear implication is the simple ask is one that the Lions just should accommodate. That is the crazy part, not that the terms are complicated. Are you intentionally misunderstanding the context?

Personally, I would like a member of congress to have a long and successful career in something (basically anything*, but law is always a good route), and then hold at least 1-2 local or state offices before being one of the 435 people responsible for deciding the laws of our fucking country. If she’d have done that,…

The tone of the article, including calling CJ’s request a “simple ask”

The tone of this article and specifically saying it is a “simple ask” for the Lions to just fork over millions of dollars is taking CJ’s side and suggesting the Lions stance is somehow wrong.

I’m with you up until the comparison to cabs and uber. The difference is that cabs are mostly regulated as a cartel and are steeped in corruption - uber (or any popular ride share) is just as safe if not safer than cabs and also much better (in some cities) at preventing discrimination. On the other hand, hotel…