+1 grope

Hmmmm... I’ve got it! I’ll leave $2!

“... in golf. Yeah, kick his ass in golf. Definitely not literally kick his ass and then violate him with the golf club... Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

Oof

That’s the first I’ve liked anything with Patriots logo

This might be a valid argument if he was injured on the 4th game, but two games is a reasonable preseason. Secondly in this argument, wouldn’t a shorter preseason mean OBJ misses 4 regular season games if the preseason was shortened?

MJ and Pippen

Mustard. Is there any other option?

You’re a terrorist.

One type of person might find that pun funny.

JERRY: Uh, I don’t feel so good.

As a shitty middle school baseball coach, I know scrubbing still doesn’t get into the tightest threads (that doesn’t sound right Hut you know what I mean). The power washer is genius and takes a fraction of the time scrubbing would.

The only thing that gets me through these lean Phillies years is feasting on the tears of Muts fans. News like today warms my heart.

Not sure if adding links is allowed on the Kinja, so I’ll say livetv(dot)sx has been a consistently quality streaming site when I need to watch EPL, Redzone, etc.

Not as good as (Kinja humanoid username)‘s joke.

I can’t even be mad.

If it makes you feel better, nobody actually read any of your 5,000 snarky tweet.

Sneaky sex at a friend or family’s house is AWESOME! When my wife and I were dating, we would do it on her parents’ bed, the upstairs bathroom with the door open, 10 feet away in my sister’s guest room. Anything risky made for quite the intense (but suuuuuuper quiet) O-face. Thankfully I was never caught or I would…

This would be even better if he was still a Raptor.

Fucking eww.