Don’t forget furniture shopping.

I take this extremely seriously and I feel so heartbroken for this reporter.

“You grab the economy by the pussy.”

Was there any correspondence with Billy Bush?

He’s an editor here. He probably isn’t going anywhere. It might be in your better interest for you to fuck off, instead.

I regret that I have but one star to give your comment.

It is utterly unfair to the rest of us poor slobs that Michelle Obama is allowed to be so flawless. Beautiful, smart, classy, married to Barrack, excellent speaker, funny.....

That near-billion that he lost through bad business deals... very likely was not from his own personal wealth, but from other people’s money. He swindled poor saps with tales of his ‘great business acumen’, got them to invest a near billion dollars, then drove it into the ground in one year. So they’re out ‘real…

Unfortunately, no camera angle clearly showed the fate of the ball.

I won the debate if you decide without watching the totally one-sided “spin” that followed. This despite the really bad microphone.

-Joseph Goebbels

IT WAS A CATCH

Prince, of course. Also gives me a reason to post the hall of fame performance.

Thoughts and prayers with the real victim of that wipeout, Art Briles.

Wait, the punishment is not being allowed *in* Levi’s Stadium? You sure you heard him right?

Jesus fuck. This is the longest SNL cold open ever.

Trump watched the last scene of There Will Be Blood, and thinks we can just suck all of the oil out of the Middle East with a giant straw.

Good to see that Trump finally had the balls to hire noted policy expert That One Homeless Guy Who Told Jimmy Haslam to Draft Johnny Manziel.

“People don’t know this about Iraq, but they have among the largest oil reserves in the world.”

I actually don’t blame him for this position.