How the fuck can I not get a job with ESPN.

She's definitely not the first Jackie to be familiar with brutal head shots.

Burneko’s a Wizards fan.

Yup. Her and Dottie Sandusky are cut from the same cloth. Dreadful creatures who lack an ounce of compassion, humility, remorse or shame.

that font beat comic sans 105-108

Wait - did someone actually find a font WORSE than Comic Sans?

Bettman should thank whatever God he believes in that Scott didn’t club him over the head with the trophy and then run over his body with the car.

Yeah, but who wouldn’t want to move off of NBC?

“I’m suing you because I shot and killed you, am now under investigation, and therefore I am emotionally distressed.” Fuck this cop

Uhhh, isn't emotional distress part of the job description when you decided to become a police officer? It is literally your job to handle distressing situations. It's also the defense apologetics use when explaining why it's okay for you to kill unarmed civilians. This is an extra step of awful.

Wait...what? Gervais a) isn’t racist b) has a VERY dry sense of humour c) almost certainly thinks Mel’s a racist arsehole.

Yeah, they didn’t “yuck it up like a couple of old racists”, he pretended to do that so that he could deliver the line. The entire point of that bit was that he wasn’t sorry at all and he actually doubled down on the idea that Gibson is a piece of shit. There’s a lot to hate Gervais for, but this is isn’t it. As you…

Wait....has hollywood forgiven mel gibson? why is he even allowed on the stage?

Not really getting where the hate for Gervais is coming from. To me he remains a great example of the comedian who always punches up and never punches down.

At his age, Trump should know a lot about “going soft.”

It’s a good thing Ditka’s father used corporal punishment. Otherwise that guy might have turned into some kind of asshole.

I can't wait for the combined 48 seconds of action.

Marchman:

Mock Jim Tomsula ALL you want. Dude had his contract paid off when he was fired. He made $14-million for coaching one miserable year of football. Do you know how much Costco instant mashed potatoes $14-million buys? Jim Tomsula does!

Ben Carson delivered himself as a baby. He even snipped his own umbilical cord. Fact.