Obviously, Jameson Buttofuoco’s parents were trying to help him have some self-respect with that last name...

These names are strong as new rope (I hate Hal Sutton).

Brickman House is a stout fucking name. The only way it could possibly be better is if his middle name was Shit.

Fucking white people, man.

But how else will your fat friend on facebook be able to let everyone know they walked 10,087 steps today?

The Dallas Creamer, AKA America’s Cream.

I couldn’t be more disappointed that Winnie Brandfield-Harvey does not go by Winifred.

We live in a very Italian neighborhood, so my son plays baseball with Giovanni, Vincent, Tony, Tony, Marco, and Tony.

IV Stucker is a Jr.! Can’t wait for his grandson IV Stucker IV.

Ah, of the Long Island Buttafuocos?

“Dallas Creamer” is not a real person’s name. This is a sexual act where you wear a cowboy hat and jerk off in your partner’s coffee.

How are we ignoring the presence of a Buttafuoco on the men’s third team?

Brown’s Brewster Warble

Brewster Warble is a snub from the first team. Also how the fuck is “Breanainn” pronounced? “Brennan”? Jesus Christ.

I guess but it’s so close to the much-better Viper Steele that I can’t help but feel a little disappointment.

That guy’s name is IV Stucker, Jr.? Do people call him... Iv? Eye-Vee? Do they call him Four? How do they address his dad, Mr. IV Stucker Sr.?

Rich Mix just beat out Spoiled Lot.

Agree to disagree. Anna Begins is haunting.

It was also a little creepy when fans along the visitor’s tunnel tried to hand him fake scraggly blonde mustaches and green short-shorts to wear

That almost made me feel something resembling sympathy for the Diamondbacks’ plight... I mean, what other alternative do you have when West Virginia is staring you in the face?