Off topic.

I'm not too torn up about it

You mean by holding the final stages during MLS’s preseason?

Burny Sounders 2016

“He can’t move well; painful to sit. Sits in car with seat fully reclined.”

That GIF brings me joy every time I see it.

Well I have a labradoodle and he’s awesome. They’re smart, sweet doofuses filled with seemingly boundless love and enthusiasm. But he’s also straight up half poodle/half lab, not like the “Frankendog” ones that are like 3/4 doodle and 1/4 poodle with that impossibly curly hair that people like to pretend never shed.

Mine. :)

Buddy, you are not even married yet and already you are complaining that the person to whom you’re about to pledge your lifelong love and fidelity might want to share your interests with you. This is not a good start!

What the fuck is wrong with you

Who would win the Deadspin spelling bee, and when is this shit happening?

what kind of dog is best?

Most of us disagree with Kevin Draper’s pro-kitten-eating stance.

Greg hates football and pizza? Why doesn’t he work for Slate?

Please send Billy to some MLS games this year.

Soap, then water.

Partial correction: Ciara is definitely having sex, just not with Russell Wilson.

I watched the premiere and thought it was okay and then never tuned in again. It just kind of fell into a hole, I think because it just sounded like he was reciting jokes and didn’t have much personality of his own. I liked Samantha Bee’s show though

Russell Wilson and Ciara are definitely having sex, just not with each other.

Everyone but their editors, it seems....