Running in the zoo seems like a good choice. It’ll sure as shit make everyone who sees you think “What the fuck are they running from?”

Yes, it’s what Harambe would have wanted.

When I was a kid in little league, there was a mom that would yell, “Make the bat hit the ball.” Every time someone from our team was up to bat. Every. Time. There was also the time we were playing somewhere and behind the outfield fence was an actual pasture with cattle in it and she started yelling, “Hit the cow!” I…

T-ball stand, also known as a tee.

“Nice swing, bro!”

I saw some of those on my Facebook feed. Reminded me why I don’t go on Facebook anymore.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

“I will see him in the Congo this summer so him and I will talk back home with nobody around us.”

Adams: I’m going to just relax my body because there’s no fucking way Draymond is going to kick me in the nuts agai...💀🎶hello darkness, my old friend....🎶

Hands up, don’t boot.

Somewhere Barbaro is looking down on this race and still not comprehending any of this, because he is a horse.

Braves: We need a new stadium!

Interestingly, this actually does offend 9 out of 10 Native Americans.

I thought you were supposed to throw trash on the floor in the back until it reached the height of the seats. That’s how you know it’s time to empty it.

Damn. So there really is no hope for this happening...[weeps into filled-to-bursting shopping bag dangling from shifter]

My gf and I talk about giving our two cats away every single day. We openly talk about their deaths being excellent bc of the financial freedom it will afford us to PROBABLY JUST GO AND BUY TWO MORE FUCKING CATS

Wouldn’t it have been simpler to just PhotoShop the original picture?

I’m serious too. They need to submit this photo to the National Archives. It is extremely culturally significant.

At least @MyTweetsRealAF will have the chance to take in Temecula's annual Christmas night police check-point, where he can calmly explain he's just driving around looking to beat the shit out of some dude he's arguing with on Twitter.