The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

Go fuck yourself.

If your knee jerk reaction to every shooting is to worry more about your toys than the shattered lives of your fellow Americans, you might suck as a human being.

No. You’re missing the point. The point is that nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to be able to buy an AR.

I’m just floored and saddened that someone at a Redskins game would use a racial slur.

Carton really tried to get the debt down to....1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!

Sadly it’s a bar our current president couldn’t have jumped over; not just because he’s a fat lazy sack of shit that believes that physical activity drains your “life force” but also because he’s racist.

Fact - the only person in the south who ever used a torch correctly was William Tecumseh Sherman.

Not as bad as the time the band finished a tour of the Far East and he was all, “They were all yelloooooooooooow.”

Lights will guide you home

Yep, it’s Mitch. He puts the salty tears of failure on his hot dogs.

Yes. Related: I do not do the art selection on these.

Oh pros can hit bad shots too, the difference between us “normies” and a pro is that pros can hit recovery shots like this.

Why talk about the return of Game of Thrones on Sunday when you can talk about a far superior show like this!?

It’s a point of pride for me to never have seen an single episode of either King of Queens or Kevin Can Wait.

All they can say is that their tarp is pretty plain

As for Voodoo doughnuts, only tourists go there

At the time a lot of people were pissed. He was one of the biggest prizes in the FA market that year. And he’d just come off destroying Houston in the playoffs. However, he had made it relatively clear that he likely wasn’t sticking around. We’d take him back now, but you’d have to take back Evan Turner or Allen…

To be fair, who’d get bent about Aldridge leaving? Y’all can have him back any time you want for like, a second-rounder and a couple boxes of Voodoo Doughnuts.

Wow. This makes me feel a lot better about living in Portland. We’re another one team town (MLS doesn’t count!) and I don’t recall anyone throwing hissyfits when LaMarcus Aldridge left a couple of years ago. Oh, and we’re not run by some crazy Mormon theocracy, either.