I couldn't even hold a glass of water. And you know what? I loved it. I was so sick, I loved it

He's pretty efficient and Type B in a different degree.

Hmmm...I've seen this exact statement before, except this one is missing the part about fucking Soon-Yi Previn.

@ITakeTheEasyJokes: +1

Man, those UEFA refs are real Sephardi poopers.

"My numbers don't lie...Those numbers are going to stay there forever."

I believe that's actually the luchador "Pscirrhosis".

Only slightly more readable than Coleridge, but with Chone Figgins and Eric Byrnes, there are 2 albatrosses.

Cortez the Schiller?

Wade went on to commend the tact of Tony Hayward.

3 hours does seem excessive, but don't forget to take into account the amount of time that will be taken up by wiping down perspiration and gasping for air.

Shoulda been you, Asterix.

I always thought the Mapplethorpe beachwear line was ill-advised.

What we need is to inject some kind of meaning into that numb right arm

He was just sick of the taunts from some smartass in the front row who kept asking if he was the same one in "Guernica".

Boy, if that guy had a paternity suit for every kid he has, he'd ha - wait, what? He does? Boy, that's a lot of paternity suits.

"We're going to get somebody fucking Hurt."

The slogan for Anelka's burger also doubles as a diagnosis from David Wells' French doctor.

Actually, we're not really clear on the depth perceptions and focal lengths at play here.

Nathan Rabin of The AV Club attended this year's Gathering of the Juggalos and his account is as hysterical.