Look, I'm as much of a fan of General Mills cereal as the next guy, but never would I have my affinity for Lucky Charms permanently affixed to my forearms.

The Suns are planning on wearing their half-Spanish jerseys tonight in honor of Cinco De Mayo.

Poor Ben. I haven't seen such a cry for help like this from a 28-year-old since Kitty Genovese.

@ClueHeywood: Yeah, he was gone by the time the 911 call was made. What makes no sense, though, is that the roommate would make no mention of a broken door in the 911 call.

@BuddyGuyMontag: From my understanding, the roommate wasn't home when this occurred and it was just her assumption. Perhaps there were empty bottles to suggest as much?

Huguely's attorney says it was "an accident with a tragic outcome."

He said, 'Dad, can I run on the field? I said, 'I don't think you should, son.' "

"And if I had to go to Las Vegas ... I'd better get paid this fall".

These are gauche. Somebody should put his Vanities in a Bonfire.

"You can't have a third film in this series without the Sharks having a 3-D advantage!"

@Gamboa Constrictor: Well done.

The company concedes that misspellings, emoticons and nuanced sarcasm cannot be taken into account in the analysis.

More like "Needs a Therapist", am I right???

This is, pardon my French, retarded.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: The Shue Buff is my Melrose Place/Ivy League soccer blog.

"...and I remain astounded by the outfit's sneaky brilliance in pushing this expansion through".

The Urethra of Steel?

Hey Will, is your friend Mike Cetera's nickname "Et"? Man, that would never get old!

Attractive Swede. Pro athlete. What could possibly go wrong?

"Kurds? Gas, spray on."