Any baseball dads out there have a 3-year-old they wanna pimp?

To be fair, Otto von Bismarck pointed to concussions in regards to his Anti-Socialist behaviour.

"We're all just here to play softball with our friends."

Joey Kocur has fond memories of Bob Probert's pre-game "snow showers".

"...but we'll all remember how he thought his baby penis could get him out of it."

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I'm waiting for "Italian, Pride Week" with Mario Cantone.

You know what's kinda cool, though? This dude's last name is the onomatopoeiac reaction elicited by his jokes.

That was actually part one of his Billie Holiday bit. Part two involves a copious, copious amount of China White.

"...mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!"

Here's how a more "objective" journalist behaves when they can't write, "Gimme a Break!":

Not pictured to the left: Beast Man and Tri-Klops

Durant: 29 points, 19 rebounds, many star-is-born/coming-of-age references.

Most importantly, what does it mean when it says "Jack in Hell"??

This is the most unceremonious revoking of a Premier-ship since I read Guru's farewell letter on Tuesday.

@DirkToberFest: That's awesome.

This isn't a job for pussies.

Hey, is this land also on an ancient Indian burial ground? You know, 'cause that'd be spooky.

Hell, even Charlotte's going to be a step up.

@Hatey McLife: +1

Out of all of these author appearances, this one pissed the shit out of me the most.