...as "hockey player" is the one profession that won't get you laid in L.A.

"...but when they explained it to me, I was like, ‘I agree.'"

Hey, it worked for John Hinckley, Jr.

The only way to experience a greater Marlins-related assault to the senses than listening to this is to marry Jorge Cantu.

The last time a guy in white facepaint took a shot like that, The Crow had to be finished with previously shot footage.

Miller says it was "a bogus write up".

Meh. Van Halen's rider is still more ridiculous.

Lenny would be disgusted to share a surname with Jay.

I thought the Chicago Way was smooth, inoffensive soft rock.

"It's obviously traumatic when you witness something like that, but these guys understand the privilege of playing baseball," said Angels manager Mike Scioscia.

Sounds a little like, "Sell mammoth fuckin' rake," whatever that means

Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad.

This is why they should have gone with a "Dye Your Hair Like Butch Reed" night instead.

Maybe it's just the light, but green seems to be working for Billie Jean King.

Still worse than what the QB got, but I guess he'll take it.

I feel bad for Prokhorov. It's hard being ZANU guy on the block.

"I just feel there's a little bit of lack of respect and class just to kind of wear a bikini like that and come out and swim here."

"I'm not rooting for [Ben] as an individual; I'm rooting for the team, you know? If he's wrong he deserves to be put in jail like everybody else. I hope he's not wrong."

But you had to get greedy and go with Jordan, didn't you?

Fists of Meth