Tap that keg like fucking Fonzie.

SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy

As a Jays season ticket-holder, I look forward to seeing if this team can be worse than the Leafs. It's actually possible.

"Tony, can you hear me?"

And they said Mukesh Ambani was crazy when he spent 441 crore rupees for the Mumbai Indians! (Not a very original nickname, actually.)

The walls of his department were posted with signs ordering KEEP IT SHORT! or WRITE LIKE YOU TALK!

Sometimes the hand doesn't fall your way.

ColdStoneFootballFacts.com thinks that, when it comes to Tim Tebow, the Rams gotta have it.

@Mr. Praline: Even Bernard Sumner thinks that would be Bizarre.

"...no way some upstart Cinderella was getting past the loaded Huskies"

"...or waited for Clemens in the parking lot, and punched the guy in the face."

"I can't...I'm a Moor man".

"...not because I was some soothsayer who was fully aware of the future greatness I would see in Wade.

Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:

As Hans Blix proved and Pontus Niklasson confirmed, Swedes simply don't accommodate American's requests for convenience.

Exodus International gives you a framed certificate and commemorative polo after "Turning 30".

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I also love that they used a still from a 6-3 game.

Keller's brother, Chris, was once a helluva Props Manager in a prison production of Macbeth.

The last time a Spencer made foolhardy choices based solely on personal bias, Sidney Poitier was forced to awkwardly eat dinner.

These are your Darryl Strawberrys, your Dwight Goodens, your Garry Templetons, those whose brilliance blew us away and then vanished in a haze of smoke and peril.