I think this says as much about his soggy reflexes as anything because I’d have been under the fucking desk in the time it takes him to roll away from that huge fucking annoyed bird

Yes. Future putdown: "Son, you are depriving a village somewhere of a Burfictly good idiot"

I, for one, cannot wait to hear Stephen A Smith using this terminology and reasoning next time there’s a replay controversy.

You should really gather his articles under the subhead "A Burfict Circle"

Of course Mark Ronson loves dumb people: who else would listen to his horrible fucking music?

Can the next Deadspin video be Luis going up to people in Bury and Bolton and informing them that they are in Manchester? Get his blood type first, though. 

This is an excellent and true opinion. 

Yup. Aside from all the wonderful joy and fun he brings to the game, he also makes all the right joyless berks angry. Win-win.

The next batch of Dead Letters should be interesting. 

I feel like AT&T Sportsnet doesn't get the abuse it deserves: it's down there with the NESNs of this world. Their Penguins callers are godawful, too. 

More likely it’s because, living in Philadelphia, he thinks “Fuck you” is how you say “Hard luck”. Also “Please", "Thank you", " Get well soon" etc

Now there’s an idea....

In theory, yes but in practice.. maybe not. A civil servant as senior as Darroch is to all intents and purposes unsackable and the FCO would regard any obvious attempts at political manouevres by someone who isn’t even PM yet as intolerable. Although the old civil service mandatory retirement age of 65 (which is…

If the US re-signed up to the compulsory jurisdiction of the ICJ several of their leaders could make this point in the dock at The Hague (wouldn’t ever happen, but Dubya and Blair being tried as war criminals is the sort of fantasy that helps me sleep at night)

How many do you reckon have bespoke email signatures in neon Comic Sans? I’d guess at least 30%

Thanks for that, from a Cubs fan. Now say something nice about Walker Lockett... actually, s’okay, don’t worry about it. 

If he's attempting to pay with Euros in Cardiff, I'm surprised he even got served. 

It's a funny way of spelling "Gaping", alright.

Great victory for the Peoples Republic of Uzwint. Now, when is the team from the USA playing?

I win because Noseybonk was a thing that happened in front of my terrified face as a small child in the early 80s. 70s/80s British kids TV was its own special seam of horror.