Turkish barbers shouldn’t be too hard to find anywhere in Europe. My small Irish city has at least five and they all advertise the wet shave

Quick, put up the FJM-Signal.

And there was I thinking that the only animals that scared Aussies were crocs and box-jellyfish

Yeah. Of all the King stories, that's the one that nags at me on sleepless nights.

That’s Harvard referencing style, my friend. Way I was taught to do it at college. Actually, should probably have been (Smith, 2001) now that you mention it.

I dunno. While Miller deserves to eat every fucking molecule of shit that can be thrown at him, then shit out that shit and eat that shit (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back 2001) I’m not all that cool with the (admittedly weird) actions of a child being held up to lambast the adult. We were all maladjusted little psychos…

Man, Link motherfucking Wray isn’t in the HOF which is enough of a travesty to warrant torching the place (as would be inducting warramt, i suppose)

Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but what happens if the ABA decide to disbar Kavanaugh following, say, a House investigation that reveals he perjured himself?

This is a guy who has the “Dicks/Assholes/Pussies” speech from Team America printed out (in Comic Sans, natch) and framed on his office wall and doesn’t realise that it’s a joke.

Counterpoint: Malort is delightful

HA! Glorious

This aspect of US sports really confuses me. America is so focused on ‘winning’ that draws are abhorred yet “running up the score” or “watching your home run” are considered anathema. Shit or get out of the pool.

Well done, sir. And if there's any consolation in Mudville for this Cubs fan tonight, its got to be hopefully never seeing Daniel Murphy again.

And whoulda thunk that a guy named Chad Ludington would be somewhat on the side of the angels in this one?

It can’t just be ‘Chad Ludington’ though. I’d bet my bottom Euro it’s ‘Chad Ludington III’

PRODUCER: Quick guys, we need a name for Generic Frat Boy Asshole #3 in this teen college gross-out comedy

In Glasgow that’s what’s known as “enquiring after someone’s health and wishing them the best of luck while getting it stitched”

Of course he had a drinking buddy called “Chad Ludington”. Of course he did.

Soundtrack to that closed-door meeting

Is it terrible that I want Mike Schur to quit writing TV shows and go back to fisking awful baseball journalism? Man, I miss FJM.