Sounds like a morning zoo

She figures in quite a bit of my old Spidey comics from the 80s. I still have them. Is that so wrong?

You think Cannon Group shlock comes cheap?

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Calling it Star Wars '77 makes it seem cheesy, though. Like I expect Dom DeLuise and Burt Reynolds in it.

Are you really going to expose that young mind to Jar Jar Binks? Are you really going to allow the risk of indoctrinating another child into thinking Darth Maul is soooo cooool…?

Listen rummy, where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?

It's in an alien base 2,000 feet underwater.

This is just me showing my age, but if you're playing with your phone 24/7 everywhere you go, that's a deal Monty Hall couldn't broker.

There is so much about this that just hasn't smelled right. If it sucks, fine, screw it, there are other franchises than this one. Also, I'm curious: if it does suck, will criticism be misinterpreted as racism against those four hard working gals?

I took those abrupt cuts as an homage to Lindsay Anderson. Or Red Letter Media.

Dunno why I heard this in the voice of the Beastie MCA but it greatly improved it.

I think you can pause glitch your way through that part. You can also take the rightmost ladder and face right as you climb. Crash Man is an artist, his level doesn't have to make sense.

This is a fun level to show off your jumping skills when you 'git gud.'

I love this level. There are more glitches than that. If you're interested in glitch-summoning a glitched-up Yellow Devil in this level, for example, it's possible.

"Rock and roll martian!" One of my favorite MST3K moments.

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature…

Girls Town is mine. Highlighting the eternal struggle between jazz and pop. Also: Mamie Van Doren.

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Most unrighteous, dude.