Although the cannibalism may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly suck the life out of her partner over a period of decades. This process is commonly referred to as marriage.

“The flu vaccine: A tedious annual chore, but necessary unless you want to spend a week bed-ridden and barfy.”

Take this! Nuclear Fart!

I eat tons of bananas. I will get banana cancer.

I think the giant rubber fist should have been the first sex toy to lose the skeuomorphic design.

In that world, 29 million profit is chump change.

BOOKS - remember these??

“You need another drink like you need a hole in your he—”

What’s *really* under the hood.

The Fiat Panda was actually designed by a human? I always thought it was created when the design team was on strike.

Finally a Highlander reboot I could get behind.

Robin Hood, Tarzan and Spider-Man are always swinging from ropes, vines and web.

Okay, let’s face it, it has to be the man who truly is an action hero: Jackie Chan

Apparently I’m not rich enough to be poor enough to buy a Macan.

"It's nice, owning the only pair of gloves in North Korea."

Kiss it, Jesus demands it!

" see Jesus in a taco "