Wow... Women can give birth and become fat and their bellies sag and their husbands love them anyway. Men can lose their legs in war and their wives will love them anyway. See what I'm getting at? When you love someone, something may happen to them, whether it's age, biology, or sickness that makes them less outwardly…

Welcome to the club. Complete strangers will feel free to stereotype you and your partner. I don't even bother to react anymore and say outrageously hateful stuff to or about you. If your relationship is good, you know that better than anyone else, and that's all that matters. Take comfort in the knowledge that it is…

"YOU JUST KILLED THE PRESIDENT."

"very well-equipped"

Eh, not so much.

Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to NOT make a penis-size related joke? DO YOU? I'm being a serious journalist here, OK?

"EXTREMELY NSFW PIC"

Bracing myself for the onslaught of body-shaming and relationship-shaming comments about Depp and Heard's age gap.

DIRTY SEX PERVERT DEVIANT SEX FIENDS.

*breathes deeply and clears throat*

SIMULATING NON-CONSENSUAL SEX ACTS ON RANDOM WOMEN IN THE STREET DOES NOT COUNT AS 'FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION', IT COUNTS AS BEING AN ABSOLUTE CUNT.

You watch your mouth!

I've never heard this before and now I am intrigued.

PSA: If you are unable to drive after a therapy appointment, you should stop seeing that therapist.

"Eat responsibly"? If you have to chew cum, there is something very, very wrong with that man.

The Bama Bro

Yes! I would also accept the Pit of Despair.

I keep going back to what it must be like for that teenager to have to try to find the strength to speak up and fight back in that situation. He was literally fist fighting his stepfather when cops showed up.

There are not enough horrible things that can happen to these two people.

I'm stuck on this valuable mineral that he's trying to sell. Wtf is he even trying to say?

Ah! They are good sports with senses of humor about themselves. Outraged feminism balloon deflated?