All the stars for you.

Resting Angry Gun Discharge Face?

Boys, when you’ve been rejected, and your friend at the bar suggests getting over it with a couple of shots, this is not what they mean.

She told police that she felt something was ‘not right’ so she removed the scarf and mask, and saw Newland standing there wearing a woolly hat, swimming suit and prosthetic penis.

Let’s do both.

Normally I would want to talk at great length about the cinematic masterpiece that is Clueless, but obviously we have to talk about the Gawker shitshow instead.

Here comes an awful Mr Hyde story.

I just noticed Jez is following me now. I will be phasing through all the categories as I get my drunk on tonight in celebration :)

I say we all start our own trials and meet back for Saturday Night Social with the results

Internalized misogyny is a hell of a thing.

There’s no way in hell it’s serious; “their logo stereotypes European Americans as people who sit on chairs” is a dead giveaway on that. It’s definitely satire, the only question is satire of what?

Smirnoff Ice because you were so young you had to be driven home by your father? I have a worse story. I was at a promotional event sponsored by Smirnoff Ice so the only thing to drink was that or soft drinks. In my alcoholic desperation I drank Smirnoff Ice. I was in my early 30s so I have no excuse, except for my…

When I moved to Brooklyn two days before and it was 97 out and I had a terrible cold but went for a bike ride anyway, and then I got my period all over my bike. Then I went home and slept through fireworks and had no friends.

UGH, the time I was in high school and I went to a “party” for the 4th which was really just Ryan T and his stupid friend and his stupid friend’s hot tub. We drank smirnoff ice and I let Ryan T look at my boobs (but not his stupid friend) and then they made fun of me for not knowing that Bradley Knowell from Sublime…

The Fourth of July the illegal fireworks show started the houses next door on fire. Those houses belonged to firefighters. Our house didn’t start on fire but the it was after ten o’clock when this happened. They were there for a number of hours and it was annoying when we were trying to sleep.

I once got a frantic call at 5am from a friend who was abandoned in the woods 4 hours away. She got into a fight with some asshole who drove everyone camping, and he packed everyone up and left without her. This was before GPS, so she had to figure out where she was while I drove in her general direction.

Pushing an Isuzu Trooper out of a mudhole.