I can’t believe the judges held his use of Coldplay in such contempt that they gave him less points than those dudes that spent their whole performance wiping out.

It’s a problem I’m intimately familiar with, having served in the military. Too often, our service members are dying from suicide, due in no small part to the hyper masculine culture. And yes, that includes women who’ve served, at a much more alarming rate. You don’t want to be seen as weak.

Discussing the extreme hyper masculinity of football in a negative light is a topic that needs to be brought up more often.

“They’re too immature.” - Man who at 39 got drunk, crashed his car into a telephone pole and then fled into the woods.

“Adulting.”

Maybe he personally doesn’t think of it as a holiday because he has to go in to work that day.

Who are these magical motherfuckers who WIN the arguments in their head? I always feel like an asshole and drown in a handle of vodka afterward.

The best oreos are the Christmas white fudge. Pure, unfiltered sugar coma.

“What we can do is apologize and take responsibility, offer support and compassion and learn from the incident so we can continue to work to prevent it from happening to anyone else.”

Sunday’s game against...the Lions? was the first complete Ravens game I’ve watched all season. How they handled Ray Rice beating up his soon-to-be wife cut my viewing by half, them being absolute shit since the Super Bowl cut it in half again, and then seeing them not take a chance with having Kaep as a backup to Joe…

That’s silly. Who’s going to watch hockey in Oklahoma City in 20 years?

All of these Brunch Belt media axis pieces about how “we need to try to understand these people!” conveniently ignore the fact that the nation’s big cities contain large populations of young college graduates hailing from the sorts of places that went 80% for Trump and understand Trump voters very well.

4 rules for wedding planning: short ceremony, good food, good booze, and good music.

Not one to be outdone, LaVar Ball has decided that his next child will be named LaBall Ball.

How long has this been a soccer term? I’m intrigued. I can only hope it’s in reference to my favorite Christmas carol of all time:

Not gonna lie, Grit Rick Rubio is currently the most attractive player in the NBA, and we should be ashamed for not noticing him sooner.

Yeah, I was raised Missouri-Synod myself, but I fell out of regular attendance when I learned that the pastor wouldn’t let women read the Gospel selection in the Sunday sermon.

As someone who is, in addition to being the target of the hatred from racists, ALSO a Naval Academy graduate who completed the Marine Corps Sniper School at Quantico AND the only officer in my CBG to serve as a ship’s sniper (usually a job for the enlisted, but I was by far the best shot), I’d like to tell you that…

Trust the Coracoid Process.

“Elementary, Watson.”