It was probably more like:

She uses the handle “Milton Berle’s Cock”.

She just seems like such a delight! Good thing Brent locked that down!

Buy taking sexting to a whole new level

Perhaps there should be warning labels on screwdrivers. “Use with caution, may end up in vagina or rectum”.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

So is there a “War on the Cardinals”?

Give it up man. No one really gives a fuck besides you.

So many angry Cardinal fans on here. Maybe, if you’re team didn’t keep saying self rightous things about a player who was with you for one year, Deadspin wouldn’t write about them.

Your analogy would work better if weren’t for, well, white supremacist Cardinals fans.

They’ll come forward in 9 months

God help you Merry Gentleman, let nothing you dismay...

What is this world coming to? You can’t even trust women you bring home from a club anymore? I long for the lost, better times when a drunk man could bring women home from a bar and his various bejeweled items or piles of cash were left unmolested.

Was expect a different demo of perp from the Meatpacking District.

Let’s time how long it takes Rand Paul to take a shit then endlessly debate the result.

Say what you want about her acting career, but Sarah Jessica Parker is fast as hell.

Least we get a post about Dez Bryant racing a live horse, as opposed to another Odell Beckham Jr post beating a dead horse.

Giving a 13 yo the chance to name themselves sounds ... problematic

A ballcap.

But there’s never even a chance to be the harmonica guy at the party..