We all need something to believe in.

Every time I see a picture of Elizabeth Holmes I keep thinking, “She looks crazy enough to stab someone just for the lulz...”

One night, I hired a couple friends to help stage a needlessly elaborate hoax to generate public sympathy.

I once successfully rented an apartment for incalls using the most insanely complex series of Google Voice numbers (for my “references” and “place of work”), fake accents (see previous notes), randomly googled sample SS number, and a horrifically bad fake name.

This team really is committed to illegally getting stuff released from their balls.

Not only did he pay them $3,500 but he reportedly paid them with a check. A. Check.

Actually, it’s kind of the exact opposite--this shows how very difficult it is to convincingly fake an attack, and how easily the stories of people lying about being assaulted crumble under investigation. Nobody is sincerely equating “believe victims” with “don’t investigate crimes”; that’s a straw man used by rape…

Yeah, my first thought was “But that is not a nautical knot”. Which turns out to be a fun sentence to say out loud.

You can make your own Bea Arthur!

You are actually misquoting her. She didn’t write “I’m tired of seeing an ape in heels.” The actual words were “I’m tired of seeing a ape in heels.”

Donna Brazile doesn’t get near enough credit for Hillary losing.

Did McCabe go to the “Donna Brazile School of Helping”? Because if so, boy, is he putting that certificate to work.

After about 10 years of weighing the pros and cons, I finally got my ears pierced! And it wasn’t so bad! And I didn’t pass out!

The one that gets the most giggles when I tell it is when he finished, started crying, rolled off of me and whispered namaste. Then asked me to cuddle him, then asked what he could make me for breakfast. I pushed him out the door and starfished that bed all night long.

Seriously, what’s with the constant references (real or not) to women attacking him!? I’ve worked in a high school (not far from west Bend, actually, with similar demographics) for 15 years and I can count on one hand the # of times we’ve had a girl hit a guy: one because the guy spread rumors that he had nudes of her…

The girl who did that was probably his mom.

Also worth nothing, if you say “My family doesn’t have an asshole....”  Surprise, you’re the asshole.