Why shouldn't he tell anyone offended to fuck off?

Harmonica

We actually burn a memorial ship every year at Pennsic. 4' long, clinker built, with mementos and power to take it to the middle of the lake.

I know Native Americans who've done sky burials. It may need to be on reservation land.

Pantries are only stupid until you get snowed in or otherwise stuck, or lose your job. Then 6 months of food is the most awesome thing in the world. But pantries are for food, not clever little bundt muffin tins.