annnnddd.......Bryce Harper sucks.

Michael Chan, class of 2009, who wrote, "We will certainly be speaking through our donations" if Duffy didn't restore House football.

If you smoke marijuana, Tony Stewart will kill you.

Not sure what Ward's family is allegedly due... guy made himself a candidate for a Darwin Award the minute he stepped out of that car and started going after high-velocity heavy death machines just because he was mad.

I live in LA. Ten miles in that area can mean 45 minutes or more of grueling traffic. And getting a downtown stadium through the local political and logistical hurdles? Ask the NFL how that'll go.

Seriously MLS?

Following the lead of the NFL, the MLS will now also pretend to care about women and domestic violence.

"And I've never seen a "league" logo that changes its colors to fit each individual "team"..."

A logo with a kickstand. Not too surprised, it's 20 years old and they're finally taking off the league's training wheels.

Doctor: Can you remember your name?

MLB: Jonathan, we're suspending you for 7 games

Beat yourself in front of a camera: 7 games

Gawker promised that images like this would be hidden in the greys.

I don't get the whole 'seeing THIS video changed everything' mindset that everyone's running with. WHAT THE HELL DID THEY THINK HAPPENED?!? It was in the police report!

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does he also have a picture of a box of cereal on his shirt?

This surely wasn't the first time Brady saw Welker drop something.