Yeah, I tossed off a quick paragraph and was imprecise. That’s kind of what I meant. Faced with paying off the tax, which none of the inheritors could manage since they are not ‘job creators’ but parasitic offspring who suck off the teat of the initial fortune created through the fortunate monopoly that is the NFL,…

Do they think any of the world’s monarchies really wanted Archduke Syphillis von Kissing Cousins to inheirit the throne?

What did Homer at the Bat do to you?

His older kids are either not qualified (see the article about John Bowlen above) or previously did not want to be controlling owner. They’ve been grooming Brittany for the position for quite a while now (going back to when she was in college), but when he gave up control of the team she was too young to officially…

At last, we’ve found the true victims of Bowlen’s Green.

Well one thing is certain. Inherited wealth is clearly a very good thing and only ever leads to talented people making important and good decisions. 

He was a Viking, so he’d probably miss and blow up Saturn.

Scientists: “We should blot out the sun”

No no no. That’s Thurl Ravenscroft who sings that line. Not only that, he was the voice of Tony the Tiger, can be heard all over Disneyland/World, and one of the single coolest names in modern history. He deserves more respect.

I dunno, “You drive a crooked hoss” is pretty f-ing great, but “seasick crocodile” is all-time and that’s what really matters here.

I’m partial to the thirty-nine and a half foot pole. I know it isn't the most vivid or disgusting. but as a child it always made me laugh. 

What hump?

Sorry but you are totally off base...

“there is an expression you often see on T-shirts and bumpers stickers that goes more or less like this: “Jesus Said It. I Believe It. That Settles It.”

Trump is the embodiment of the American Dream for a depressing number of people in this country. It’s not so much the money or power, but having enough of it that it can allow you to say an infinite number of stupid things without threat to your status or livelihood.

I don’t even think it’s necessarily about cooking but rather occasionally giving a damn about the quality of stuff you eat. The best thing I ate all year was sliced tomatoes from my own garden on fresh bread from a local bakery with a little mayo. And it was the sort of thing that French people are always talking…

Time to switch it up permanently- no offense to the estate of John Denver.

Tom Scoop said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it—namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. If he had been a great and wise philosopher, like the…