As a devout member of the Abdul-Jabbar Mosque, I gotta affirm what you already know: Ain’t a damn thing ever cracking the Church of Kobestan. It’s like Scientology. Once they’re in, they’re never coming back.

I’d have hucked the pigskin long. For glory.

Recycling material I’ve already used on another post about this (and didn’t even think of myself): That kayaker totally got sucker-punched.

I’ll be honest, I’m kind of torn.
On one hand I want to be kinder and more gentile (excellent word choice by the way!), but on the other hand that is what I tried during the election and it didn’t work.

“Do you really think that Hillary and Trump are identical people? I think that might be an exaggeration. And lets not…

What was once subtext is now explicitly principle.

You can always ask just to see if Philadelphia has gone completely insane. 

When the Cavs called, Thibodeau said he’d only trade Jimmy Butler if he got back 2 first round picks, LeBron James, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Mo Williams, and that up-and-coming 3-point shooter, Boobie Gibson.

I thought we agreed he beat off in the shower. 

Oh, it turns out the doctor was his mother, and the reason she couldn’t operate was she had puked and pissed on herself.

Fuck the Vikings for losing this game in such pathetic fashion that it forced me to confront the fact that I fucking detest every single person involved with my favorite team so much I’m no longer capable of enjoying a clean win.

*48 hours later, a bloated corpse washes ashore, obvious signs of suicide. The man is only identifiable by his striped polo featured on an amateur chopped episode*

said something similar to my mom today—i just want them to drop the facade and admit they truly dont care about any of this heinous immoral shit being pulled left and right and—and she was like ‘okay, then what?’

Plot twist. She never intended on quitting, just thought it would be nice if you would. 

Sadly, it’s the lesser known of Irish patriotic chants.

Two stories: one triumphant, one that made me feel like shit -

Worked for a truly terrible law firm in Nashville. After a partner botched a motion I had to file a reply to a response in like 18 hours, incorporating all the research that he’d left out in the first place. We were coming up on the filing deadline at 3PM and the motherfucker was still at the “lunch” he’d left for 3…

Oh and how could I forget fucking over the poor, as well as making it as difficult as humanly possible to vote.

At bottom, it lacks absolutely any moral or ideological underpinning beyond the reactionary protection of moneyed white men—of their station, their wealth and power, and their egos.

“Hey, they are just pouring beer, why do they feel so entitled to a living wage? After all, I shouldn’t have to pay $.50 more per beer, and I only make $50k/year. Why should he make more than me?”

Always remember, don’t fight to raise everyone up, fight to drag everyone down.