If you want to counter the argument that he “earned” the money, you only need to do two things.

The consensuses seems to be:

I’m done questioning the A’s

You forgot to call him Mr. Okenrub.

Because it’s probably not their defining characteristic as a people. We have incestuous people who will eat fried butter, but it would be offensive to visit a Canadian and be told “Hey, if you’re hungry I can drop some Land O Lakes in the fryer, you cousin fucker.”

...the rookie Josh Allen, who bested the starter by going six-for-15 on his passes for 74 yards, plus 26 yards rushing.

“Hammered, I’m leaving you to go feed animals at a zoo in South America.”

“Go feed animals at a zoo in South America if you want to go feed animals in a zoo in South America.”

...damn, you’re right!

Go feed animals at a zoo in South America if you are going to use language such as that

When left wing challengers lie about being an immigrant, lie about growing up poor, lie about their having to work jobs in high school to pay the rent, it is good that the media catches them on their bullshit. 

I mean, my instinct is to say “This never would have happened to Gary Carter,” but that bastard fucking loved Pottery Barn.

The implied metaphor here is the "paving" part. Nothing is being paved (covered with asphalt, concrete, or stone). They certainly do block for him, but they do not literally pave anything (unless they pave his driveway in the off-season). 

That’s not how tax brackets work. Only the money in the 28% bracket is taxed at 28%. Everything else being equal, your neighbor and you pay the same in taxes on the first 125k.

Yeah, say what you will about the likely social views of the speaker in Dire Straits’s “Money for Nothing,” he at least seems to admire the ability of people to get paid for playin’ the guitar on the MTV.

Sled dog racing is the ultimate team sport. Fight me.*

Keep in mind we are just one Mo Williams tackle and the Red Sox acquiring a failed power hitter out of Minnesota, removed from Bill Simmons turning into the second coming of the BTK Killer.

Look, Saban’s coaching amateur college football. He’s making a modest 95-135k annual salary, so the stress gets to him. Amateur college coaches are just that: amateur level employees who are just trying their best to do well for their love of the game and their players. He’s just a regular guy who got a bit heated, so …

Excuse me, that is not a pet peeve, that is a bad habi--[eaten by tiger]

I would say I have an addiction to the internet, but it’s not like I’m on Deadspin in the middle of the work day reading and commenting on stupid shit while missing pretty important deadlines.

Candy.